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Monday, December 10, 2007

I am a survivor.

Last week was the anniversary of the car accident that has greatly impacted my life. It's funny I can still remember that morning so clearly, my plans for the day. Then I have a gap of time that I have never recovered, till I regained consciousness in casualty. You never believe it is going to happen to you, till it does.It's amazing the thoughts that go through your mind. I remember being glad that I had had a shower that morning. I also thought that I was dying, because of the pain I was in.This is actually a good thing as I remember clearly that I wasn't afraid because I loved God.All my life I had not had one broken one bone, till that day when I had 16 fractures all on my left side.

What I didn't realise then was how greatly my life was changed.I have always felt that the person I was before the accident, died or disappeared on that morning. Because the person that emerged afterwards was distinctly different. How I tried to get my life quickly back to normal. But normal didn't hide those things I was now struggling with. Pain entered my life than and has not left since. Post traumatic stress and interesting term but not an enjoyable process. Car accident victims should all be referred to counselling, which I wasn't.Trying to find my own answers was not easy. If I had not been a Christian I do not think I could have survived those days. So, here I am another year gone, I still stand a survivor. Christine's advice for when you are having a dark day and depression surrounds you. You must keep this one rule at those times. I will not make a decision that impacts my life when I can not trust my emotions to rule my life. My thoughts and prayers are with all those other survivors who deal daily with the consequences of a car accident.

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